Motivation

When you are a trainer or coach, you inevitably have to deal with motivation issues.  Countless books have been written on motivation.  Go to any book store or library and you will see multiple shelves jammed with books on the subject.  Why?  Well, quite simply it’s because there is no one motivating factor that works for everyone.  If there was, there would be one book.  Actually, it wouldn’t even be a book!  It would be just one sentance that said “Here is the one concept that will serve as your motivation for all things in life.”  Now that sure would make life easy, but people just ain’t wired that way!  Be it love, money, guilt, or countless other motivating factors, we all have unique feelings that spur us on.

I’m just going to talk about motivation as it relates to exercise, because that is what I deal with on a daily basis, but what I’m laying out for you here can also be applied to other areas of your life.  What spurs you on?  Maybe you know and maybe you don’t.  If you don’t, I’d certainly recommend you take some time and really think about it.

When people come to see me, I invariably ask them “Why are you here?”  Sometimes I get a blank look, but usually I get something to the effect of “well, I need a trainer because I want to get in shape.”  “O.K.,” I’ll say.  “But why?”

Here are a few reasons that don’t cut the mustard:

“I’m tired of being out of shape.”

“My husband (wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc) wants me to lose some weight.”

“My doctor told me I should start exercising.”

Now are these bad reasons?  No, but they are incomplete reasons.  Any of these (and countless others like them) can serve as a starting point, but on their own they aren’t enough to force lasting lifestyle change.  To make these work, you have to make them important to you.  Yes, I’m sure that your spouse’s opinion is important to you, but you need to make it more personal than that!  If your reasons for making a major lifestyle change are not profoundly compelling to YOU, it really doesn’t matter how important they are for anybody else.

To illustrate what I mean, let me tell you a little story about Bill.  Yes, Bill is a real person and no, that’s not his real name.  I didn’t train him, either.  In fact, I knew him several years before I got into the training business.  His story really stuck with me though, so I relate it to all of my clients at one point or another.

When I met Bill, he was a big man.  Actually, he wasn’t big.  He was HUGE.  He wasn’t very tall, maybe 5′ 8″ but he was well over 350 pounds.  Nobody knows how much he weighed at his heaviest because the scale in the doctor’s office only went up to 350.  He had an awfully hard time buying clothes because size 64 waist pants are pretty hard to find.  Now he wasn’t an unhappy fat man, quite the contrary.  He had a good job that he enjoyed, a very nice and attractive wife, and a really cool son who was a couple of years younger than me.  He had a great personality and really enjoyed his life.  He especially enjoyed food and found it very hard to resist.  His doctor had hounded him for years to lose weight, but he never could stick to a diet, let alone an exercise plan.  He knew his family wanted him to lose weight, and he wanted to lose it, too.  Unfortunately, none of this was enough and he resigned himself to being fat.

Until his son graduated from high school.

Shortly after the graduation, he went to his doctor for his semi-annual lecture on losing weight. When his doctor asked how he was doing, he told him all about the graduation and how proud he was of his son.  Bill’s son had earned an academic scholarship at a very prestigious school and his future was looking bright.  Then he showed his doctor a picture of himself at the graduation with his wife and son. I saw the picture later.  Happy normal sized wife, happy normal sized son, and a happy balloon that looked like it had escaped from the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.  The doctor looked at the picture and said “Wow, that’s great Bill!  It looks like you had a good time at the graduation.”  Bill did have a good time at the graduation.  He had such a good time and he was so proud of his son, he couldn’t wait until his son graduated from college.  Now THAT was going to be a party!  The doctor waited until Bill was done talking, then looked at him and said “Bill, you aren’t going to make it to the next graduation.  At the rate you’re going, you’re going to be dead in less than four years.  If you don’t lose some weight, you aren’t going to see your son graduate from college, you aren’t going to be there when he gets married, and you aren’t going to see your grand children.”

Oof.

As it happened, the doctor had hit Bill’s motivating factor: his love for his son and his desire to share in his son’s success.  After that, there was no turning back for Bill!  He stopped eating sweets, desserts, and huge portions.  He started walking, even though for a man of his size it was very strenuous.

No more soda!  Walkalkwalkwalkwalk.  No more pie!  Walkwalkwalkwalk.  No more french fries!  WalkwalkwalkJOG!  Jogjogjogjogjogjog!

Bill proceeded to shed pounds like a snowman in the sun.  For the first few months, he was losing six to eight pounds per week.  Now normally that kind of weight loss would be considered unhealthy, but Bill was an exceptional case.  Maintaining that kind of weight takes a lot of calories, so when he cut down his intake and started exercising, the fat just melted off.  As Bill progressed, the weight loss came more slowly, but he kept his motivation and stuck with his plan.

It took him just under two years, but Bill attained his goal.  It had been a while since I had seen him last and I almost didn’t recognize him.  He was down to about 220 pounds, and was scheduled to go down to about 190 in a couple of weeks.  No, I didn’t type that wrong. When you lose that much weight, you end up with excess skin that has to be surgically removed.  Bill had about 30 pounds of excess skin.  Yeah, I know, “Eeewwww!”  Bill still exercised for a few hours each week and was eating a normal, sensible diet.  Sure, Bill had a piece of cake once in a while, but it wasn’t an everyday thing anymore.  During his weight loss, Bill discovered something: you don’t have to eat a diet of hay and rocks to be healthy.  You can enjoy food, but you don’t have to enjoy ALL the food ALL the time.

So what’s the point of all this?  Simply put, your motivation has to come from you.  Others may be able to make suggestions, but if you’re going to make a significant, lasting change you have to have a reason that is compelling to you.  And guess what?  There are no “wrong” reasons!  Whatever your motivation turns out to be, it isn’t bad or wrong, it just is.  If a particular motivating thought keeps you going, than that’s the one for you!

Anyway, it’s been several years since I’ve seen Bill.  I moved to a different state and I wasn’t able to stay in touch, so I’m not sure what he’s up to.  Did he gain all the weight back?  Maybe, but I like to think that he didn’t.

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